Should I...?

tell him? i like him, i mean REALLY like him. and just in case you feel out of the loop, his name is Tyler Weinrich, he has been in two bands, both had record labels, well at least one did and i'm pretty sure both did. he was majoring in music industry, hence the reason i met him, he was in my theory, piano and aural musicianship classes (the reason i say was for all of this was because he is changing majors, to business of all things, and i think schools *sad face*) anyway he's awesome, he doesn't have a record deal, but he's defnitely going that direction, check it out, if you want www.myspace.com/tylerweinrich he's basically awesome. and he's such a sweetie, like when i saw him in piano, he was like the first person to talk to me in that class, he struck me as a "bad boy" and now that i know him, i know how wrong i really was. he is so nice, he was still like the only person to talk to me in those classes, especially in piano, cause in arual i can talk to rose or rachel or melanie, but in piano, i CAN talk to jordan, but i like talking to tyler better, and jordan isn't as nice as she came across at orientations, she's still nice, but i like tyler better ANYWAY the point of this blog was to get your guys' opinion, cause i really like him and all that, but i still wanna be friends with him and i don't wanna make things like super awkward or anything. HELP?!?!?!? pleazzzze?

*SQUEAL*

Mia, Keith, and Jorge are coming today!!! WHEEEEEE i'm super duper excited. we are gonna go dancing tonight, then to a play on saturday, well i'm gonna be playing at the chico preview day and they are gonna be participating in it, like going on the tour and stuff!! so yeah but the play is at 7:30, and it is amazing, i went to see it last night with Becca and it was kinda hard to follow, but it was definitely entertaining. which is usually the point of theatre productions. so yeah, i'm super duper excited!! *bounces while screaming* ok i'm gonna try and calm down and do my homework before math class *scoffs* like thats gonna happen. well i will make an effort.

venting time

i can't deal with it anymore, having a roommate sucks. its not even like she's a horrible person or anything, its just when she has people in here being loud when i'm like trying to sleep, even if you think they are asleep you should still be quiet!! i may be a deep sleeper, but i do get woken up by some things, like trains, and drunk roommates. most of the time she isn't home, she's like "studying" or hanging out with other people or at class and when she is home she's asleep, which kinda bothers me cause she gets mad at me when i wake her up on accident and i'm not even being that loud, like today, i was talking to my MOM on the phone and she's all like "can you, like, leave? i know i'm not exactly quiet at night, but i'm trying to sleep." and she was being all snippy, i just gave her a look and walked out, i was like whispering into the phone!! then like a couple minutes later i came back in and got ready for my dance midterm since i needed to dress up and look nice, i didn't even try and be quiet. what really pissed me off was that one of her friends came in and woke her up on purpose and she was all like "oh yeah give me like two minutes" or something. i was fuming! i want to like change rooms, but like i'm like too stubborn, and i'm pretty sure she is too. cause i know there are some things that annoy her about me. most of the time, she's fine, we get along okay. like yesterday, she said she'd try and go to my choir concert!! how sweet is that? she's never been that nice to me so far this year, and on her birthday, since she was sick and i wanted to be nice, i got her a t-shirt for her teddy bear and a singing birthday card. so at least her mom likes me! haha. it is mainly small things about her that bother me, but they tend to build up until i explode.

i'm thinking.....

.....of writing a collection of monologues of my college experience, i already have one, well according to bitzke, you can check it out, it is on my blog titled "i love...." i still need to edit it A LOT if i want it to be monologue material. what do you guys think? short blog for this, it is almost pointless, but i want to know your opinions. thanks all <333

synchroblog 2

i know i didn't do the first synchroblog, but thats cause i didn't know about it in advance, so forgive me. so this topic is "I'm Usually in a Good Mood or Being Myself When..." for me i have a couple of things:

1) when i'm doing music, usually singing. music is kinda like my element, it always has been, idk why or anything i've almost always been in music so that probably has some part in it.

2) when i'm reading, i feel like i don't have to pretend for anyone, usually i'm not aware of the fact that i'm pretending, until someone points it out, but still.

3) (this one is a recent development) when i'm dancing, i realized that when i dance, i'm laughing and being silly and i sing along to the music (and most of it is really lame music) and i'm just a goof, i guess i always felt like i couldn't be goofy sometimes cause i was always either the oldest person in the group or i was the "mother" and it was appropriate for me to be goofy, but when i'm dancing (besides the fact that i'm like the only freshman in the class) i'm also not the goofiest in the class, but it is really nice cause i'm not self conscience, i'm not afraid to be goofy and weird and talk back to the teacher (trust me, she doens't care, she give us just as much, if not more, lip) so yeah i've realized that i'm totally myself and comfortable when i'm dancing, i've never even been this comfortable in band or around some of my family for that matter, so i think its a good thing that i found dance, also it makes me more outgoing, except i'm still old fashioned enough that i can't ask a guy to dance, but it doesn't even bother me when some of the girls that are learning to lead ask me to dance, which i'm sure it makes some of the other girls uncomfortable but it doesnt me, idk why, but i love it!! haha dancing is so much fun

i think that is all for my sychroblog!! enjoy, oh wait i think i'm supposed to put links for other synchroblogs, well i only have one so here: http://thissideoftomorrow.blogspot.com/2008/10/synchroblog-2-on-happiness.html

Miss-judged Miss-take

i guess i should let you know that this one is a play, it was written for a contest, and the theme was handicaps it could either be a permanent or temporary handicap or a mental handicap, or wait, no i think it was only physical handicaps, i think, i can't remember, i'm prouder of this than of Magically Fatal, but it is definitely not my best work, meh, i've heard both opinions of my writing, this was the first storyline that i wrote that didn't have to do with magic or fantasy of some kind. i tired to keep my same writing style by kind of having paragraphs of description and stuff, but the only way i could do that in a play was to have a narrator, who has a name as you can tell, Kristin, that little tid-bit was just so you could know why Kristin was talking so much, and why it seemed to show up between scenes. yeah thats why. i did have to cut characters, i wanted to have more scenes in the hospital but it didn't really tie into the rest of the show, so i cut it. hope you enjoy, and let you imaginations run wild with the character descriptions, i tried to leave that part as open to interpretation as much as possible. ENJOY!!


Kristin- on stage DSL. Rebeccah is one of the most popular girls in school. She is well liked by her peers and teachers. She is known affectionately as Beccah by her family and friends. Her boyfriend, Ted, calls her Bug and she in turn calls him Teddy, much to his dismay. Beccah is crazy for Ted and he is always the model boyfriend, when other people are around, but a lot of people know that he only likes Beccah for her looks and cheats on her every chance he gets. Beccah doesn’t care and thinks that he is the best person in the world. Ted plays baseball and football and Beccah has never missed a single one of his games. Beccah is the captain of the volleyball team, but Ted has never been to a single one of her games.
Two spotlights come on Rebeccah is sitting on her bed SR and Ted is sitting in a living room chair SL, both on phone
Ted- Please Bug? Please come to the party with me on Friday
Beccah- I can’t. You know I have a game on Friday.
Ted- You do? I thought they were on Saturdays. Well, you can come after the game.
Beccah- I could, pauses but I’m not going to.
Ted- Why not? It’ll be fun!
Beccah- Fun for you, yes. But you know I hate crowds, loud music, drugs, and alcohol. Pauses. Oh, you’re making puppy dog eyes ate me aren’t you?
Ted- Yes, so will you go?
Beccah- Fine!–But only if you come to my game.
Ted- swears silently. No prob. Uh, what time does it start?
Beccah- 7 pm. And don’t be late!
Ted- I won’t. I promise.
Beccah- Great. Well I should go to bed. ’Night, I love you Teddy Bear!
Ted- I love you too Buggy.

lights fade
Kristin- Ted is frequently trying to get Beccah to go to parties, but he has never succeeded, until now. This is also the first time that Beccah’s been able to get Ted to go to one of her games. Her friends, Grace and Sharnell, are really supportive of Beccah’s decision to play volleyball, then again they are on the team too.
Beccah, Grace, and Sharnell are in their volleyball uniforms. Beccah’s stretching and Sharnell and Grace are warming up.
Beccah- Where is he? The game starts in two minutes!
Sharnell- Don’t worry honey. I’m sure he’ll be here any second.
Grace- Yeah. I’m sure he’ll be here soon. Unless, of course he decides to bail. It wouldn’t be the first time.
Sharnell- Gracie! Shut up! And for once could you try to not be little miss Debbie downer?
Grace- feigns innocence I can’t help it if I’m just trying to be honest.
Sharnell- You don’t have to be so open about it!
Beccah- Guys please stop arguing.
Sharnell- Sorry Beccah.
Grace- Hey look who finally decided to show up. Holds volleyball under arm.
Ted- Hey I promised I’d show up.
Grace- That doesn’t necessarily mean anything. You’re notorious for breaking promises.
Sharnell- Gracie stop being such a bitch
Beccah- STOP FIGHTING!! I hate it when you fight! Storms off.
Sharnell- Beccah wait! I’m sorry!
Grace- Now look what you’ve done.
Sharnell- What I’ve done? You’re the one who–oh never mind. I am done arguing with you.
Grace- Wuss.
Sharnell- Oh grow up!

Both walk off arguing

Ted- Didn’t Bug tell you to stop arguing?! To audience. Girls! Shrugs and then follows them.

Kristin- Don’t worry they did that a lot. They made up, as usual, and didn’t fight anymore that night. That night at the party Beccah named herself the designated driver since she knew that Sharnell, Grace, and Ted would drink and she wouldn’t. Beccah didn’t touch alcohol so she was pretty sure that she would make it home in one piece. Unfortunately the guy that hit her car going 80 mph had been drinking. Beccah had just finished dropping off Sharnell, Grace, and Ted at home when this driver came out of nowhere and slammed into the side of her car and running her car into a tree. Someone that was driving by at the time pulled over and called 911. The driver of the other car sustained minor injuries while Beccah was crushed at the waist between the tree and the rest of her car. She was rushed to the hospital and sent into surgery in order to find out if she would be able to have use of her legs.

Beccah is sleeping on a bed CS. Sharnell, Grace, and Ted, holding a bouquet of roses, enter just as Beccah wakes up.

Sharnell- Hey Beccah. How are you doing?
Beccah- I’m doing alright.
Ted- Hey, I brought you some flowers.
Beccah- Thanks I love roses, um, put them over on that table. Thanks.
Sharnell- Hey Beccah? Do you think you’ll be able to play volleyball?
Beccah- I don’t know yet, but I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to play in the semi-finals.
Sharnell- But you’re our best player! Are you sure you won’t be able to play?
Beccah- No, I’m not, but if you want to be sure you should ask the doctor. You have to remember that I was crushed from the waist down. But just in case I can’t play, Sharnell, you can be captain.
Grace- Well, sorry to cut out early, but I really do need to leave. I have an appointment I need to get to.
Ted- Yeah I need to go too. Bye Beccah.
Grace and Ted leave together.
Beccah- Well that was weird, that was the first time he’s called me Beccah since before we started dating.
Sharnell- Yeah I know that was weird. Oh well, I should go too, you need your rest.
Beccah- Thanks, I’ll see you later. Sharnell leaves and Jack, Beth, and Emily enter. Jack is holding a bouquet of daisies. Hello. Are you sure you’ve got the right room?
Jack- Yes I’m sure we’ve got the right room. I’m Jack, I sit behind you in French.
Beccah- Oh right. Sorry I guess my head is still a little woozy from the pain-killers.
Emily- I’m Emily, but you can call me Em.
Beccah- Okay, hi Em. Who’s she?
Emily- That’s Beth. She is really shy.
Beccah- I see. Well Beth, you don’t need to worry because I don’t bite, not that I could in these circumstances.
Emily- That’s true. Beth, she’s a human being not an alien so stop looking like a deer in the headlights. Beth sticks her tongue out at Emily. Don’t be rude.
Beccah- Laughing. Don’t worry about it, she is down right angelic compared to Grace.
Beth looks down at floor as though embarrassed.
Jack- Oh I almost forgot. I brought you these flowers.
Beccah- Oh daisies, they are my favorite thanks. You can put them over on that table next to the roses.
Jack- Well, we’d better be going. Bye Beccah.
Emily- Yeah, see ya around.
Beth- quietly. Bye Beccah
Emily- feigns surprise. Oh my goodness, she speaks. It’s a miracle.
Beccah- laughing. I’ll see you guys around.
Jack, Emily, and Beth exit, lights fade
Kristin- Beccah spent months in the hospital. The doctors tried everything they could think of to try to get Beccah the use of her legs again. They just couldn’t get her legs working again. Finally they just gave her a wheelchair and sent her back to school.

Lights come up on Beccah, in wheelchair, and Ted. They are clearly arguing.
Beccah- I did not cheat on you. How could you even think such a thing?
Ted- Don’t lie to me. Grace saw you with another guy.
Beccah- Yes. I was, but I was talking to him, nothing else.
Ted- I don’t believe you.
Beccah- I know what this is really about. You don’t like that I’m in a wheelchair now! ’Cause I know that if you really cared about cheating, you wouldn’t have done it!
Ted- I never cheated on you!
Beccah- Liar! I know you did. Because the girl you tried to cheat on me with talked to me about it!
Ted- Well then, she lied, cause I never cheated on you.
Beccah- Em is not a liar! You, however, are, and I’m tired of being patient with you and hoping you’ll change, when it is blatantly clear that you aren’t going to. And I just can’t deal with you any more! It’s over!!
Emily and Beth enter.
Emily- Beccah, what’s going on?
Beccah- Ted just accused me of cheating on him, when he knows that I know he’s the one that cheated on me.
Emily- Well don’t worry about it. He’s being an ass and you are better then that. Let’s go.
Beth- Yeah. We are better people than he is and we shouldn’t have to surround ourselves with the likes of him.
Beth, Emily, and Beccah leave. Ted looks exasperated and leaves in opposite direction. Jack enters from same side as Ted looking worried.
Jack- Where are they? They said they’d be here five minutes ago! Emily, Beth, and Beccah enters, Beccah’s crying. There you are. Where were you?
Emily- Sorry we’re late, Ted was being a jerk.
Beccah- sniffling I don’t know what’s gotten into him, he didn’t used to be so insecure. Oh! Grace, I should have known.
Beth- What do you mean?
Beccah- Grace, she’s never liked me and she’s almost always had a major crush on Ted. She also spends almost everyday trying to make me unpopular and now that I’m in a wheelchair and everyone sees me differently, she is trying to make me look like the bad guy, er, girl. I wouldn’t be that worried except that she has a lot more influence on the student body.
Emily- Why does popularity matter? I’ve never been popular and I’m perfectly happy with my life.
Beccah- Yes, but I’ve never been anything but popular. Popularity and volleyball are all I’ve ever known and now I’m not popular and I can’t play volleyball anymore either. She starts crying again.
Beth- My cousin plays volleyball and she’s been in a wheelchair all her life.
Beccah- Okay, what’s your point?
Beth- My point is that you can still play volleyball and be in a wheelchair. You can try out for the wheelchair volleyball league in town.
Beccah- Really? That’s great! I don’t have to give up the one thing I’m good at and that it love.
Beth- Yeah and if you’re really interested they have practice today.
Emily- What’s wrong now Beccah?
Beccah- It’s just that my entire life’s been turned upside down. I’ve lost my friends, my boyfriend, I almost lost being able to play my favorite sport! Everyone at school, besides you guys, have started to see me as a freak and a cheater, all because of Grace! I just don’t know what to do.
Emily- I might have a solution. Do you want to go to my church youth group with me?
Beccah- Church? I’m not religious. And besides if God existed why would he have let this happen to me?
Emily- God loves everyone, he sent his only begotten son to die for our sins. If he didn’t love us why would he have done that? And besides God only gives us problems if he knows that we can overcome them.
Beccah- How do you know that? How do you even know that there is a God?
Emily- I don’t. It’s called faith.
Beccah- I guess it couldn’t hurt.
Kristin- Beccah went to Emily’s youth group that weekend and had a blast. She also realized that God did love everyone. After that week she never missed another week of youth group and went to church every week. Oh and just so we’re clear not everyone from Beccah’s old life had forsaken her. Sharnell was still nice to her, it just took her a while to get used to seeing Beccah in a wheelchair. I lot longer than it took Beccah to be used to being in one.
Beccah, Jack, Emily, and Beth are sitting and talking and laughing while eating lunch at school one day. Sharnell enters looking for Beccah.
Sharnell- Beccah? Are you over here?
Beccah- Yes Sharnell, we’re over here.
Sharnell- Okay, here’s the deal. I’m sorry that I believed what Grace said about you. I knew it was wrong, but since you’re in the wheelchair and I didn’t know what else to do, and what I’m trying to say is I’m really, really sorry, and can you ever forgive me?
Beccah- It’s okay Sharnell. I forgive you.
Beth- Are you sure Beccah?
Emily- Yeah are you sure?
Beccah- Yes guys I’m sure. Listen Sharnell has been my best friend since second grade, I can’t just forsake her because she made a stupid mistake. And besides I’m sure that as long as she isn’t around Grace anymore she won’t make as many mistakes like this.
Beth and Emily look at each other skeptically
Jack- Guys, if Beccah says it’s okay then we should believe her. Especially if it’s one of her friends.
Beccah- Besides Em, she’s religious too.
Emily- Really? You should try out my youth group.
Sharnell- Totally, that sounds like fun. Oh and Beccah, I thought you should know that Ted is with Grace now.
Beccah- Why am I not surprised?
Sharnell- I don’t think anyone is surprised.
Beccah- Yeah probably not.
Lights fade on them all sitting and laughing.
Kristin- Soon Emily, Beth, and Jack began to trust Sharnell and began to realize that she was nothing like the infamous Grace, who got in trouble with the school for drinking on campus and got expelled. Ted hurt himself playing baseball and is no longer able to play any sports. Beth started taking a drama class and got the lead in the school play. Emily started volunteering all of her extra time to helping in her youth group, she helped at soup kitchens and at local orphanages and retirement homes. Jack finally got the nerve to ask out Beccah and they are really happy and he also joined the school choir and became the best singer in the school. Sharnell still plays volleyball and is the permanent team captain and has lists of scholarships for playing volleyball in college. Beccah is happy and plays volleyball for the town wheelchair volleyball league. She is still very close to all of her friends, with the exception of Grace and Ted. Beccah made it her mission to go and become a counselor for teens that have been in drunk driving accidents in order to tell them not to give up on life and that there is something better than depression.
Beccah- Krissie, what are you doing?
Kristin- Nothin' sis.
Beccah- Well hurry up I promised Mom that I’d have you home in half an hour.
Kristin follows Beccah off stage, blackout

Magically Fatal

i definitely liked Porcelain Rose better than this story, and i feel like i could have written more, and i wanted to, but i was writing this one for a contest that had a limit on the length of the literary works, which was 2000 words, and i just barely made it, so yeah, not my best story, but yeah i made an effort

Kiara had lived a relatively normal childhood, or so she had thought. She was seventeen and her body was going through some very odd changes. And what was even worse was that her mom wanted to send her away to some boarding school for freaks like her! But I'm getting ahead of myself. You probably want me to start at the beginning.
Kiara had just started her junior year in high school, she had also just had her seventeenth birthday. Now Kiara was far from ugly, she just had very unusual taste in music and things she thought were cool, so she wasn't one of the "popular" crowd. Kiara had long dark brown hair that was very slightly curly and she had almond shaped eyes that were the color of coffee. She wasn't fat, but she wasn't anorexic like most of the other girls in her grade. She also had this weird sort of grace that made her seem like she was dancing with every step and when she gestured at something her hand movements were very fluid. But she had noticed that there were things that were happening to her that no other girls were going through. If she pointed at something it would either become animated or turn into something else or it might just disappear. Also if she gestured when she talked then she just wouldn't know what could or would happen. She tried to talk to her mom and understand what was going on but all of these conversations would end in her mom trying to convince Kiara to go to the school. Her mom wanted to send her to this school that her mom said would help her work through what was happening to her. Kiara really wanted to know and understand what was happening to her, but she didn't want to leave all that she had known.
"Honey," her mom begged. "You have to go! There isn't anyone here who can help you."
"Mom, I can't and won't go," Kiara responded. "If you think this is the only option then I'll just have to figure out what is happening to me on my own."
"I have no doubt that you can figure it out by yourself, but . . ." Her mom faltered.
"But what mom? If I don't go I'll become a social outcast? Well I have news for you. I already am a social outcast!"
"No, that's not it at all. It's just that if you don't learn to control your powers by the time you turn eighteen they might destroy you."
"What? Destroy me? And what do you mean by 'powers?'"
"What I mean is that your dad was a warlock and he didn't bother to tell me this minor detail until I found you hovering your bed. He bound your powers and the binding was supposed to come off when you were thirteen because it is required that all witches and warlocks' powers are bound until they are thirteen, but for some reason the binding stuck."
"But momma, you said that daddy had died a long time ago and that was why you weren't together anymore."
"I know I said that, but the truth is he ran away with some witch. Trust me you would have known if he had died, because you are blood relation and you are both magical you have some bond that is closer than any other normal father-daughter relationship. But Kiara, you have to go to this school, I can't bear to loose you too." Her mom looked close to tears.
"Okay momma, I'll go."
It was Kiara's first day at her new school. In her first couple of classes there was one girl who was very friendly and would sit next to her, her name was Kiki. Kiki's hair was jet black and about shoulder length and had a choppy kind of cut to it, but it had a pink stripe in it. She also dressed very eccentrically and seemed very outgoing. Kiki was also very bubbly and friendly, this was the reason that Kiara sat with Kiki at lunch since she didn't know anyone else and didn't want to eat by herself on her first day at school.
"Oooooooo Kiara," Kiki gushed. "It looks like one of the cutest boys in our grade has taken a liking to you."
"How can you tell?"
"Uh, cause he is right behind you." She stated as she bounced. Kiara immediately blushed. "Hey Kenai!"
Yep definitely very friendly. Thought Kiara. She turned around to look into the most startlingly beautiful blue eyes she had ever seen. He had dark brown hair that was short but long enough to fall into his eyes and frame his face perfectly. He was also oddly graceful and his grace made him seem like and angel.
"What is your name?" He asked with an outstretched hand.
Kiara stuttered and tripped over her words and finally just blushed a deeper shade of red as she reached out to take his hand. "Her name is Kiara," offered Kiki. Kiara shot her a relieved look.
"Thank you Kiki," said Kenai, then looking back to Kiara. "Kiara, huh? That's a very pretty name. May I sit down?" Kiara nodded. "So why are you just showing up?" He asked as he sat down. "Most kids show up when they turn thirteen, and how old are you?"
"I'm seventeen, and the reason that I'm showing up now is that now is when the binding on my powers wore off, or was taken off. My mom and I don't know if my dad took it off or if he renewed the binding when I turned thirteen, or if he just put a really strong binding on my powers when they appeared when I was little."
"Why couldn't your mom take the binding off when you were thirteen if had stuck? Isn't she a witch too?" Asked Kenai.
"No, my mom is a mortal, so I'm only half witch I guess."
"Oh that is dangerous, those types have a very hard time controlling their powers and their powers usually end up destroying that person by the time they are eighteen," Kiki observed.
"I know, that is why my mom sent me here, she couldn't stand to loose me too, especially after my dad left her for a witch."
"I see, so you were forced to leave your normal life and normal family for this," said Kenai, gesturing around them.
"Yeah, basically." Said Kiara nodding. Their conversation continued for the rest of the lunch period. That evening, after Kiki had showed her where the dorms were, Kiara found out who her roommate was and that her roomie really didn't want Kiara at the school, much less in the same room. Her name was Beth. Kiara tried to avoid Beth as well as she could. The next morning at breakfast she found Kiki sitting by herself at a table outside reading.
"Good morning Kiki!" Kiara said brightly. Kiki's hair had a very bright turquoise strip in it today.
"Hey Kiara. You seem much more well adjusted today than you were yesterday."
"Yeah I guess I am. There is one thing though." Kiara added frowning.
"What is it?" Kiki asked as her hair turned back to its natural black.
"Oh it's nothing really, just my roomie, Beth. She doesn't really seem to like me much. I don't know why I haven't done anything to her." Kiara shrugged. "Hey does you hair do that normally?"
"What, change color with my mood? Yeah it does or I can change it on command." Said Kiki as her hair turned back to turquoise. "But anyway about Beth. She is Kenai's ex-girlfriend, she probably saw you talking to him yesterday and got jealous. She is usually harmless, but try not to get on her bad side, she has some of the most powerful powers in the school. Well speak of the devil. Hey Kenai."
Kiara turned around. "Why do you always come up behind me?"
"Oh nothing," said Kenai with an innocent look on his face and put his arm around her, "I just really like to startle you. The look on your face is cute."
"Ya know Kenai, no matter how cute she looks when she is startled, you probably shouldn't until she gets control of her powers." Said Kiki very matter of factly.
"Oh I hadn't thought of that. So I guess I probably shouldn't do this." he asked as he kissed Kiara.
"No probably not, but it is a little late, well at least the world hasn't ended."
"Oh very funny Kiki." Snapped Kiara after she got her breath back.
The rest of the year passed in much the same way. Kiara would go to class in the morning and try to understand what her teachers were trying to explain. By the end of the year Kiara hadn't made much headway in controlling her powers. The only difference in the beginning of the year and now was that Kiara and Kenai had started dating and Kiara and Kiki were best friends. It was almost Kiara's eighteenth birthday and her powers were getting harder and harder to control.
"What's wrong hon?" Asked Kiki after Kiara had sat down with a worried expression on her face.
"Oh I blew up another desk today when I was trying to get it to levitate." Kiara sighed.
"That's really not good Kiara." Said Kenai from behind her. He made Kiara jump which made a branch from the tree they were sitting under fall to the ground.
"Kenai! I'm really sorry, I'm trying really hard, but I just can't get the hang of it." Kiara buried her face in her hands. "If I don't get my powers under control soon my mom will be so distraught if they destroy me. What on earth am I gonna do?"
"Don't worry Kiara. We'll help you, Kenai and I are start pupils," offered Kiki.
"That's right! We'll have you shaped up in no time! By the time we are done with you, you'll be top of the class."
"Really?" Kiara looked up.
"Yes, really." Kiki promised.
"Thanks guys, this means a lot to me."
The next few weeks they worked with Kiara during their breaks and lunch. Kiki and Kenai would also take turns staying up late drilling Kiara on spells and charms. By the end of the year Kiara had stunned all of her teachers with her quick understanding of the subjects. They had all but labeled her as a lost cause. She could also do all of the spells on command without even needing the incantations. She quickly rose to the top of every class.
"Kiki! Kenai! Guess what? I passed all of my classes with flying colors!" Kiara exclaimed as she bounced up to them.
"That's great Kiara." Said Kenai as he gave her a kiss on her forehead.
"Yeah, I'm so glad we could help." Said Kiki as she flounced over to give Kiara a hug.
"Now I can tell my mom that I have my powers under control!"
"That's terrific sweetie." Said Kenai without much enthusiasm. Then a worried expression came over his and Kiki's face.
"What is wrong with you two? I thought you would be ecstatic that I have my powers under control."
"We are happy about that, believe me," said Kiki.
"But we don't want you to leave," added Kenai.
"Is that all?" Kiara almost laughed. "My mom would have to pry me from this place with a crowbar. I finally have somewhere that I feel at home and comfortable. I finally have somewhere I belong." Both Kiki and Kenai looked extremely relieved. "Is that all you guys were worried about?"
"Yeah," Kenai and Kiki mumbled embarrassed.
"Oh guys, I love you both too much to leave now. And I still have way too much still to learn."

Porcelain Rose

this is the first short story that i've written, i wrote it my senior year in high school, basically i needed something to do to fill up pages in private writing for Aldy's class and Aldy was desperate for writing for Minds, usually when i get started on a story i'm obsessive until i finish, so it usually doesn't take me that long to finish, but currrently i have two stories in the making, one that i need to catch up on since i haven't worked on it in almost 4 months, and one that i started this summer and just kinda dropped after a while, i started working on that one last week, but lately i've been too busy to spend my time on obsessive creative writing projects. so here is Porcelain Rose, and i'll post Magically Fatal and Miss-judged Miss-take soon, probably today

Melody was sitting with her friends at lunch. It was just a normal day at school. She was spacing out as normal, and her friends were chatting animatedly around her. Her boyfriend was trying to engage her in the group's conversation, her best friend since first grade, Kristin, was looking at her with a worried look on her face.
"Melody, what's wrong?" Kristin asked. "I know that you usually space out at lunch, but you look like someone has died."
"What? Oh, sorry Kris, I was just thinking about my dream last night, it was really strange," Melody responded.
"Really, what was it about?" asked Kris with enthusiasm.
By this point Jack, her boyfriend, had given up trying to get her to socialize. "Well, I don't really feel like I can talk about it here, I don't want anyone else to know."
"Okay, no prob. I'll call you later tonight and you can tell me everything."
Melody agreed and Kristin went back to chatting with their other friends. The rest of the day passed in a kind of haze for Melody. She got back to her beat up little car that seemed like it was going to crumble into dust at any moment. She went home and immediately started her homework before her mother got home. Melody's mother worked in the local library and her father worked in City Hall. Even though her parents were divorced, sometimes they seemed like they were still married. Melody sighed with relief when she finished her history homework. She got up and stretched then headed toward the kitchen to start dinner, she decided to make a chicken pasta since her dad was coming over and he loved chicken. Right after she put it in the oven the phone rang and she had to run into the living room to get it. It was Kristin, "oh hey Kris," Melody greeted her.
"Hey Mel! So spill. What was your mysterious dream about?" Kris enthused.
"Well there was a guy–"
"Oh my goodness, your kidding!"
"Kris! Please let me finish."
"Oh, sorry Mel, I'll be good."
"Now as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, this boy had hair the color of toffee and eyes to match. His skit was like porcelain, and it looked like, well it's really hard to describe, but it looked really cold and smooth, almost like stone. Anyway, he walked, well more like glided, into the cafeteria and–"
"Wait, our caf? But he doesn't sound like anyone we know and in a town this small we know everybody!"
"Kris! I know, but ya gotta let me finish!"
"Oh, right sorry." She said in a small voice.
"Geez Kris, what on earth am I gonna do with you? Anyway," she sighed, "oh wait! I think my mom and dad are home and I have to finish fixing dinner, sorry hon. Uh, I'll e-mail you later okay?"
"Fine, but you are KILLING me with the suspense!"
"I know and I'm sorry, but I really do need to go."
"Okay, talk to you later tonight."
"Bye," she said as she hung up. "Hey momma, hi daddy."
"Hi honey." Her parents said in unison. Melody rolled her eyes.
"How was work?" She asked, addressing both of them.
"Fine, helping people find books we don't have because our town is so small," replied her mom.
"It was all right," said her dad, "we had council meetings all day."
"Oh, sounds fun." Melody quickly lied.
"You are such a bad liar," her mom laughed. "So how was your day?"
"It was all right, Jack was wonderful, as usual and Kris was hilarious," Mel reported.
"Oh, really," said her father.
"And you say I'm unconvincing?"
Her mom laughed, "Well you come by it honestly." Melody shrugged as she pulled the pasta from the oven and traded it with garlic bread. "Dinner smells great honey."
"Thanks mom, it's almost ready just ten or fifteen minutes for the bread."
When dinner was ready, they all sat down and talked about their days in greater detail. When they were done with dinner her mom did the dishes as usual and her dad went into the living room to watch t.v. Melody ran upstairs to "finish her homework." As soon as she got upstairs and her computer booted up she wrote the rest of her dream in an e-mail to Kristin. She told Kris that when he did walk into the cafeteria the sun was shining just right through the windows that it made him look even more like an angel, since he looked like one anyway. As soon as she finished relaying the story and Kris had time to read it and respond, she got and e-mail from Kris that said "that sounds great Mel, but things like that just don't happen." Melody scowled, leave it to Kris to ask for all the corny details and then be the voice of reason. Okay, I'll admit it is true, but a girl can still hope, can't she? Melody wondered
The night passed quickly and dreamlessly. The next day at lunch Melody seemed to be a little more interested in the conversation, she had obviously recovered from her strange dream. Suddenly Kris gasped and pointed behind Melody to the doors. Melody spun around and her breath caught in her troat.
It was the boy from her dream.
She just couldn't look away. She couldn't believe it! Kristin had looked away quickly, not as star struck as Melody. Melody felt like her heart was going to explode because she was so happy, yet she also felt kinda sick to her stomach and she was really nervous. He looked at her and it felt to Melody that his eyes could see down to her soul, then he smiled at her and her stomach was so full of butterflies that she thought she was going to choke. She was surprised to find how self-conscious he made her feel and she quickly looked away from him. She tried really hard to concentrate on what Kris and Jack we discussing but she could feel the new boy's eyes on her for the rest of the period.
When she got to band and she got her clarinet together and was moistening her reed, the new boy came in and looked in her direction on his way to speak to the teacher. Melody turned quickly to her friend, Claire, and asked, "I wonder what instrument he plays?"
"I don't know, but it looks like he's going to either the trumpet or percussion section." Claire stated.
"Oh goody, another drummer." Said Melody, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Actually, I think he is going to the trumpet section, I wonder if he is any good." Claire mused.
"Oh, never mind, we are short on trumpets this year."
It took all that Melody had to concentrate on her music and to what the teacher was saying. When the day was over, Melody all but ran to her car. She way him standing against as shiny blue mustang with a smirk on his face that almost made her stop cold and hyperventilate. When he noticed this, he snickered, which made her turn and even deeper shade of red. When she got home she immediately went upstairs to her room in order to try to get a hold of Kris somehow. Luckily Kris was already home and online.
"Melody," she typed, "did you see how he looked at you?"
"I don't know what or whom you are talking about."
"Don't play innocent with me. I know you better than that."
Damn. Melody thought. "You're right I know what you're talking about, but I'll have to talk to you about it tomorrow I have a mountain of homework to do tonight, sorry Kris." and she quickly signed off. That was a close one, she is such a gossip I have no idea what I would have told her.
That night her dreams were filled with visions of his face.
When Melody got to school the next morning she found a single black rose on her desk. She immediately thought it was from Jack, but when he saw it he got angry and offended that someone else was giving his girlfriend roses. Mel felt really bad that the flower had offended Jack but it was so beautiful and unique that she couldn't bring herself to get rid of it. At lunch she felt compelled to join this strange new boy but she felt so shy at the thought of it that she couldn't bring her self to do it. During band she could feel his eyes on her for the entire class, but she fought the urge to look back at him, knowing that it would make it even harder to concentrate. After class she caught up with him and decided to ask him his name.
"My name is Alex," he said before she could even ask.
"How did you know I was going to ask that?" she demanded
"Lucky guess, I'm the new kid in town so I've been getting that question a lot."
"But I haven't seen anyone else around you."
"Yes, but Melody, you aren't in any of my other classes."
"True, I guess, but all the other trumpet players seem almost afraid of you."
"I don't know I guess they are nervous around me."
"Yeah I guess so," said Melody, resigned. "Hey, Alex, how did you—" she started but he was gone. What the . . . oh well.
As soon as she got home, she could hear the phone ring. It was Kristin. She wanted to know what she had found out about the strange boy.
"Well, the first thing is that he has a name, and it is Alex. And when I was near him, his skin didn't seem to give off any heat. I also noticed, in band, that he is the best trumpet player that I have ever heard, and that includes the professionals."
"Really? He sounds really weird, but I think he likes you!"
Melody was suddenly glad she was on the phone with Kris so she couldn't see her blush. "How can you tell?" She challenged.
"How can you not!? It is totally obvious!"
"Okay if what you say is true, about him liking me, then what on earth am I gonna do about Jack. I don't want to hurt him, but Alex is all I can think about!"
"I don't know Mel, but I'm quite sure he'll be able to bounce back."
"Okay, if you're sure," she sighed.
At school the next day Melody decided to have a real conversation with Alex. She didn't want to hurt Jack, but she needed to talk to him.
At lunch on her way to sit with Alex she shot an apologetic glance toward Kris and Jack. "May I sit with you Alex?" She asked hopefully.
"Of course you may Melody. What made you think you couldn't?"
"Oh nothing. I never got to ask you before, but how did you find out my name?"
"Is it really a wonder in a town this small? But if you must know I actually listened to the roll being called in band."
"Oh, duh! Wow I feel really dumb right now. Okay, no I have to ask you something else, was it you that left the rose on my desk in biology?"
"Yes, why? Didn't you like it?"
"No, no I loved it. Roses are my favorite flowers. It's just that I think it made my boyfriend kinda jealous."
"Oh, I see, but sorry that it made you uncomfortable that your boyfriend was jealous, but I don't honestly care what this boy, that I've never even met by the way, thinks of me. Especially since I think that you are the most beautiful girl I've eve seen." He looked over her shoulder and snickered.
"What, what's wrong?"
"Oh nothing, your boyfriend is just sitting over there shooting daggers at me."
She groaned. "I am so gonna kick is ass later. He can be so rude!"
"No need, I don't want you to get into a fight with your boyfriend because of me."
"Fine if you say so, but I'm still gonna talk to him later about it. Wait I thought you said that you don't care what he thinks?"
"I don't, why did you think I said that there is no need for you to kick his ass."
"Oh, well that makes sense."
"Besides, I think his reaction is hilarious."
"Yeah it kinda is, since he is usually so sure of himself. Ya know being a football star can kinda inflate an ego." Melody sighed.
"Your boyfriend is a football player?" Alex asked incredulously.
"Yes, why does it matter to you whom I decide to date?" She snapped.
"Well, you don't really seem like the type who would date a jock. And I care because from my experience jocks are notorious for not caring about their girlfriends feelings and only wanting them for arm candy," he snapped back.
Thank you for caring, but jocks also don't seem to fall for band geeks so I'm really sure he isn't like a stereotypical jock!" She replied acidly.
"Okay, fine, no need to bite my freaking head off!"
"Sorry," Melody mumbled. "So how long have you played trumpet since you are better than most professionals I've heard," Mel asked after an awkward pause.
"Well, a lot, let's just leave it at that," he replied without meeting her gaze.
Why won't he tell me? She wondered. "Why is your skin so pale and why is it always so cold?"
"I'll tell you later when we are alone," he replied as he looked around.
"When will that be?" Mel asked eagerly.
"Uh, how about at your house later tonight?"
"Well, I'm really sure my mom would appreciate some warning before I brought some boy over that she doesn't even know."
"Oh yeah of course, no problem," he paused. "I would like to see you again . . . tonight if possible."
Melody thought for a minute. "Wait, there is a gorgeous meadow in the woods behind my house. Can you meet me there after dinner?"
"Sounds perfect," said Alex smiling, yet his smile was more like a smirk. Melody was embarrassed and looked down so that he wouldn't see her blush.
The rest of the day seemed to pass in a blur. When she got home, she was still in a daze. "Darling, what is wrong with you? You seem terribly distracted," her mother worried.
"Oh, sorry mom, but I'm just worried. I think Jack is mad at me," responded Melody.
"I'm really sorry Mel." She comforted Melody. "I always thought he was awfully egotistical," she murmured.
"Yeah," she sighed, "hey mom, is it okay if I go on a walk for a bit?"
"Of course, but don't be too long, okay?"
"Yeah of course."
When she got to the meadow, she immediately noticed that Alex was there. All of her previous worries just melted away. She almost threw her self on him in relief and happiness, but she caught herself just in time. Instead she looked down at her shoes as a blush crept into her cheeks. Alex snickered. "You came," Melody whispered.
"Of course I did, I was the one who proposed this little reunion wasn't I? Melody, you didn't honestly believe I would bail on you did you?"
"Well, I didn't really know. I just met you and I'm really not that interesting and you seem so much more interesting than I am," she sighed, "I don't know, well I don't really seem like I'm worth your time."
"Oh, hardly, you are so much more interesting than you give yourself credit for," He laughed, "like when you blush, the girls I'm around don't seem embarrassed by anything," he quickly brushed his hand against her cheek.
"So," Melody said, quickly recovering, "you promised to tell me why you always seem so cold and why your skin is so pale."
"Very well, I had been hoping to prolong this. I enjoy your company so much and I don't want to scare you."
"Are you serious?" She looked at him like he was crazy. "Trust me. It is hard to scare me."
"Okay, okay! Fine, have it your way, but don't say I didn't warn you."
"Will you just spit it out?" She was practically exploding with curiosity.
"Fine! I'm a . . ." He sighed.
"You're a what?"
"I'm a . . . .Vampire. There I said it, are you happy now?"
"Yes, and I'm not scared. I told you." She replied. Even though I probably should be scared, she thought.
"Really?" He inched closer.
"Yes really. I enjoy your company too much to be frightened," she informed him.
"Well that's good, but what are we going to do about your boyfriend's jealousy problem?"
Melody scowled, "I'm starting to think that you were right, about him not being right for me," she sighed again and shook her head. "But honestly I don't know what I'm gonna do about him."
"If you like I could talk to him for you," he offered with a mischievous glint in his eye.
"I don't think that will help much, but thanks and I'll be sure to keep the offer in mind." And she couldn't help to laugh along with him.
Suddenly Alex leaned over and kissed her. Melody was surprised to find that she really liked it. Yet just as suddenly as it started, it ended. It was awkward for a few moments. Then Mel stood up and told Alex that she had to go because she had promised her mom she would be home soon.
"Okay," Alex said. "Do you want me to walk you home?"
"Thanks for the offer, but I'd better now, my mom can get quite paranoid and my dad is there too."
"Oh, okay," Alex looked disappointed.
This time it was Melody's turn to surprise him with a kiss after it was over Melody walked home with a huge grin on her face.
"Did you have good walk?" Her mother asked.
"Yeah, but I'm really tired so im gonna go to bed now."
"Okay honey, good night."
"Night momma, night daddy," she said as she kissed each of them on the cheek and feigned a yawn on her way upstairs.
"Good night honey," her dad called after her.
As soon as she got to her room she e-mailed Kris to tell her about the nights events, but not before making her promise that she wouldn't tell Jack. That night her dreams were filled with images of Alex. The next morning she found another black rose on her desk in biology. She carefully set it aside with a smile.
"Who's that from?" Asked her lab partner, Petunia.
"Oh someone," replied Melody
"It isn't from Jack?" Asked Petunia in amazement.
"No." Melody scoffed. "Do you honestly believe that Jack would get up early enough to put a rose on my desk when he was a home period? And do you think that if he ever did do that he would choose a black rose?"
"No, I guess not." Said Petunia embarrassed. "Still, he's gonna be very mad when he finds out that you're getting roses from someone else."
"Yeah well, he'd been less and less concerned with me lately so I don't really care what he thinks."
"Oh, I'm really sorry Mel!"
Melody sighed, "it's okay, and I'm really sorry for snapping at you."
"It's fine Melody."
The rest of the class passed in silence. Melody was dreading seeing Jack because she knew what she had to do. She had been planning what she would say to him all morning so when she saw him she said, "Jack, we need to talk."
"Okay, what is it honey?"
"You know I love you, but lately I've been thinking that the love I have for you has changed from being your girlfriend to being more like your sister."
"Oh, well, is that it?"
"Yes, I'm really sorry Jack," she looked really miserable.
"Ya know what? It's fine. I've been starting to think the same thing."
They quickly embraced and then went to their separate classes. At lunch Melody only glanced at her old table, only long enough to see that Jack had already moved on. To Kris, her best friend. Even thought she had broken up with him, it still hurt to see with Kris, especially so soon after she and Jack had broken up. Oh well, she thought, I guess I deserve it.
What's wrong Melody?" Asked Alex with a concerned look on his face.
"Nothing," she replied as everything that really was wrong just seemed to roll off of her.
"I don't believe you."
"Oh, fine." She replied and she told him everything, she couldn't keep a secret from Alex no matter how hard she tried.
"Oh, I'm really sorry Melody." He reached over to push a stray lock of hair back behind her ear. Before he could pull his hand away, Melody had grabbed it and had put it against her cheek.
"It's fine Alex. I swear." Now that I have you, she thought. They talked for a long time before they realized that the cafeteria was almost empty.
In band she looked over at him and he gave her a small quick little smile. "So, what's up with you and the new guy?" Claire asked pulling Melody out of her own little world with how much enthusiasm Claire asked and Melody laughed.
"I don't really know yet."
"What is Jack gonna think? Tsk tsk tsk."
"Honestly, Claire, I don't care. I broke up him this morning."
"Really? Then he's free?"
Melody laughed again. "I don't really think so. I saw him all over Kris earlier at lunch."
"Oh," was all Claire could muster in response.
When Melody got home and she and her mom were eating dinner she announced that she was going to go for another walk after dinner. "Okay, that's fine honey. Is everything all right? You don't usually take walks so often."
"Yeah, I've just had a lot on my mind lately."
After dinner she donned her jacket and headed out. I'll admit, it's a long shot, I meant I didn't tell him to meet me there again tonight. But when she got there she saw him and she didn't hold back this time as she flew towards him and gave him a huge hug and a kiss. They stayed in that embrace for a long time and eventually they lay down and looked at the stars through the clouds. They seemed so happy, yet Alex was troubled.
The rest of the school year passed in very much the same way. Occasionally a black rose would find it's way onto her desk in one of her classes. Over time she became close with Kris again, after she had forgiven her for dating Jack so soon after Melody had broken up with him. They were closer than ever, she had even forgiven Jack for dating her best friend and they were friends again. There was always one thing that Melody could never share with Kris though, it was the one thing that was only between Melody and Alex. She would also visit Alex in the meadow once a week, just so her mother would never get suspicious.
At the end of the year, after graduation, Melody went to visit Alex in their meadow as they had agreed earlier that day. When she saw him she ran to him and hugged him, but he looked distracted. "What's wrong Alex?" Melody asked him, worried.
"The thing is Melody my family is moving, you see we can't stay in anyone place for very long."
"I can understand that, but you just moved here!"
"I know, but my dad thinks that some of the people in town are starting to get suspicious of us."
"Oh," she turned away, she wouldn't let him see her cry.
"Melody . . ." He started, but faltered.
"No, no it's fine, but there is just one thing I need to know."
"Anything," he promised.
"Will I see you again?" She turned back around to face him, no longer caring if he saw her cry.
"I'm sorry, I don't know the answer to that."
"Oh, I see."
"I'm really sorry Melody."
"It's fine," she replied trying really hard not to cry. She would save that for when she was alone in her room.
"Well I guess this is goodbye."
"Yeah I guess so."
They kissed one last time and he was gone. Melody knew she should get home before it started to rain, but she was frozen place. If anyone had seen her in that moment, they might say she looked kind of shell shocked. Eventually she found her legs and started moving in the general direction of her home.
Years passed and she had graduated from College with her credentials. She was married and had two beautiful kids. She seemed happy, but she could never forget Alex. Then it was time for her twenty-year reunion. She didn't go to the ten-year reunion because it was too soon after high school, but she felt this overwhelming need to go to her reunion. She and her husband left the kids with Melody's mother for the weekend while they went to the reunion. When she got there, she saw Alex, holding a black rose waiting for her. She froze and her husband asked her what was wrong. "Nothing," she replied, "just someone I wasn't expecting to see. I'll be right back."
"Hello Melody, who was that you're with?"
"No need to be so icy Alex, that's my husband, I didn't think I was ever going to see you again, so I tried to move on."
"I see."
"I'm sorry Alex, but if I had known that you were coming back I would have waited, and I did wait, for a long time after college, but I couldn't wait any more Alex."
"I understand Melody, I didn't really know what to expect after me being gone for so long."
"I don't think you do understand Alex, but I don't care because I'm really happy, probably not as happy as I would have been with you, but still I'm happy."
"You're right Melody, I don't understand, but that's okay, because I love you and I want you to be happy, no matter what the expense."
"I love you too Alex, and I always will." Alex handed her the rose and she walked back to her husband and looked back at Alex, she knew that he had changed her life forever.

i love.....

being a spectator to dorm drama. drama is so much more fun when i'm not a part of it. haha my roommate had like 16 shots and half a bottle of chardonnay. it was one of her guy friend's birthdays and she stayed even with him the whole night, the only difference, he blacked out and she didn't. so props to Tiny for that, i guess...but yeah she was so trashed last night, she woke me up at about 12:30 and i didn't get back to sleep until about 2, in this time i think i got out of bed and turned the lights off about 5 times, and she came in sobbing about this guy, but she got over that really quickly, like a minute after she came in she was laughing hysterically. then she left again and yeah she like hit the back of her calf on something, she broke her toe nail almost completely off and she did something else that escapes me at this moment. oh and she went skinny dipping last night too...yeah how did i end up with one of the biggest partiers are Craig Student Living? haha, it doesn't usually bother me, unless i'm trying to sleep when i have a class the next day, like it doesn't bother me as much on weekends, if i'm home, i'm usually hanging out with people all weekend, or am out of town, but yeah cause then i don't have to get up the next day, weekdays it is a different story, i have 8 am classes monday, wednesday, friday, and 9:30 classes tuesday, thursday. last time i do that! haha, probably not. but yeah, it was interesting, but yeah part of the drama was apparently Hannah (Tiny's best friend) is apparently screwing the guy that Tiny likes. or something to that effect, like i said i love it when i'm a spectator to drama. haha

dreams are fun, yet can be confusing

well i'm going to one of his shows a week from this coming Saturday with mia, keith, and jorge, and i think this is a different dream, but after the show i ran up to him and kissed him, and he kissed me back and yeah thats basically it for that one, but the second one we were dating, i think, and we were trying to fly to chico i think from like LA, but our tickets said LA to England, and i got the ticket with someone who is like a mother to me, but i can't remember who it was now, anyway we were like running around trying to get our tickets fixed and what not and whenever i lost him in the crowd or went to the bathroom or something i saw through his eyes and whenever he wasn't around me he was antsy, and when we had to get on the plane i saw my dad and step mom and little sister, which started another running around thing, i can't remember why, but we finally boarded and we asked the guy about our tickets and he said they were fine, we'd still end up in chico, and throughout this dream there was this other guy following us around that liked me, but i liked him too, but liked ben more, and when we got on the plane i was sitting next to the guy that was following me around, but ben wanted to switch with him, and they got in a verbal fight, and ben won, and i was holding his hand and i fell asleep on his shoulder and then i woke up and later i figured out who the other guy was, and it was tyler, the hottie that sings and is from my theory, piano, and aural classes, yeah it was weird

meh (again)

ok so not that i don't love Sonoma, i do, but i am SO glad to be back in Chico, despite the fact that i have lived in Sonoma since i was 3, i feel more at home in Chico. and i just realized (this came out of the blue, i was totally happy and copacetic) but i am in dire need of a girls night, i need time to just sit, watch chick flicks, talk about how stupid and clueless guys are. well i guess this isn't totally out of the blue cause i kinda did that with kaleen and vanessa today at dinner, we ordered pizza to go from Celestino's ate it outside (despite the fact that kaleen and i were freezing) in front of the PAC and had really funny, awkward conversations, one of which includes vanessa trying to find kaleen and i boyfriends (to that i said good luck, cause the guys will probably fall for you! kaleen agreed) and another of which included kaleen telling us a story that included her yelling vagina (she didn't mean to yell she just kinda did) and this cute guy walking by, vanessa apologizing, really loudly, and the guy walking away, not even looking at us, smiling. ah the things tha happen when you're just with your girl friends, lol. but then when we got back to craig, they both went to their rooms (in a different building) and i walked back to my room wishing we had been able to hang out longer, so i got on my computer and started talking to el-bitz which is fun, i love el-bitz!! and being frustrated that i have over 20 people from my friends list online and ben isn't online (i really hope he doesn't read this, well idk, i have mixed feelings about that) like i want a girls night, but i also really wanna hang out with, or at least talk to, ben, yeah i know my brain needs to make up its mind, but i'm pretty sure i'm leaning more towards the girls night thing! meh i miss my girl friends from sonoma (not that i don't love my girl friends here) but yeah, so i think thats about it...if it isn't then i'll post another blog, haha

meh

i miss the stability of high school. you had a set schedule, someone to tell you what you needed to do, and if you weren't doing it, they called you in and talked about it. that isn't what this blog is really about, that was just a side note. but i do miss having friends that i saw everyday at school, i knew when they were free, i could go up to them and talk to them, and if i was having a crappy day, they would help, or try too and some would just listen and some would just give me a hug, that is what i miss most of all, the hugs, there aren't very many people here that will just give you hug, i know one person, and i never see him. and that's his normal greeting, is a hug, he doesn't seem to give it a second thought. i like being in sonoma, because i see doug and if i need a hug, i don't even need to tell him, i can just go up to him and give him a hug, and he gives really good hugs. i want to cry, i want to curl up in a ball and wait for it all to be over. and most of all i'm tired of being the "mom" despite the fact that no one here really knows me as the "mom" besides my roomie and vanessa, i still have that persona, and to me that means i can't just collapse in a puddle and cry my eyes out. i guess i should tell you why i want to collapse and cry. basically my roommate is a bitch. its been building up for a while, like she'll come in at 3 am and wake me up (not intentionally but still) and she'll have people in our room when i'm trying to sleep, when she knows i'm trying to sleep and have a class the next morning, but last night i was in bed trying to get to sleep, but my acid reflux was acting up and it was making me sick, and she had people in here and she was talking and the subject came up that she think i'm eating her food, and she wants to film me (secretly obviously) to see if i really am, first of all i am not! and why would she think i was after she lets everyone else at craig eat her food too! basically i have an amazing amount of patience and she's getting dangerously close to the breaking point, but i don't want to ask for a room change because to me that is accepting defeat and it might prove to her that i heard her and i think it would tell her that i am eating her food even tho i'm not, so basically today i've been close to tears all day. and i want to go back to sonoma with my friends that i've known for 4+ years that will tell me what i should do and give me a hug and let me cry it out. meh i just can't deal with it anymore

it was fun, oddly enough....and fascinating

so basically there was this guy and he was there for HOURS, i got there at 10 to 3 and this guy had been there at 1 pm and it was in full swing and he left to go to class and came back and it was still in full swing. but it started as this guy with a fetus arm on a dime in a huge sign (the pic i sent you) yelling at people that abortion is wrong, yadda yadda yadda, and then these women from the woman's center came out and made these signs (god ♥ 's everyone, free hugs for all, keep abortion safe and legal, etc.) and it started this huge ass debate, and there is this other guy (not yelling at us or talking down to us like previous guy) that had a sign saying judgement day is coming and lists all these people telling them to beware. (rebellious women, sports nuts, party animals, muslims, homosexuals, mormons, etc.) and a teacher came out during the end of it saying that that sign was hate! i fell in love with this teacher immediately and i don't know who she is. but anyway, it was supposed to be about abortion, but we covered a bunch of different topics and you know how much patience i have right? how it takes A LOT to piss me off and it usually builds up after a while of one thing and then i just blow up at them, well this took me maybe half an hour to get really, really pissed off at this guy. mainly because he said he was christian, but not religious (??) and i don't like christians that force their views down any one else's throat! it pisses me off!! it was fascinating to me it was like a train wreck, i couldn't look away! so i stayed untill the bitter end, well really close, the main guy started packing up (what i love is that the main people in the debate were men, there was a man trying to take away our right to an abortion and several men trying to save that same right! it was interesting, the woman's center's main issue was "how can a man tell us what to do with our bodies, how can you tell us that it is wrong when it is OUR CHILD!" i love these chicks! it was an awesome debate, i had fun just talking to the people in the crowd about it, i refused to talk to him about it because i knew he was doing it to get a rise out of us and i didn't want to feed his ego. it was fun

i hate people....

girls mainly, but yeah. i went to get my laundry, thinking "oh its been 45 minutes the dryer should be done and i can get my laundry." well i went to get my laundry, and it was out of the dryer on top of a washer and it was still soaking wet! and there were two girls, one said "do you think i can start taking my laundry out yet?" there was still 35 minutes on the timer, i was thinking "your clothes aren't going to be dry after 10 minutes." gah! i think she took my clothes out of the dryer and put hers in, but i don't like want to draw conclusions, but if my clothes were in there for the entire 45 minutes, they wouldn't still be soaking wet, MAYBE damp, but yeah usually not even that. i'm venting, and i dont even know if i have any reason to be mad, but i'm still annoyed cause now i have to wait for them to be done and spend another $1.25 for the dryer, again! *grumbles* it is still REALLY, REALLY annoying, ok i need to calm down now, thank God i have dancing tonight, that always cheers me up. *sigh* *annoyance*