i don't care

here's the thing, i don't care about drama. i'm trying to stay out of it, but here's the problem, two of my best friends won't stop talking to me about their drama. i love them both dearly, but really? i went to Reno Dance Sensation this last weekend and i was determined that i was gonna have a good time no matter what, but one of those friends also went and she was obsessed with this guy that she USED to date, and he has a new girlfriend, and my friend doesn't like the new gf, frankly i don't like her either, but it is his choice and i'm not gonna let the fact that this new chick is a bitch bring ruin my entire weekend. and she shouldn't have let it bother her either, especially when previously she had been going on an one about this guy that they were together for a while and he wanted to take a break and they probably will get back together. but OH MY GOD, i'm DONE. i can barely deal with my shit (school and friends and the fact that i like someone too) so i sure as hell can't deal with my shit AND someone elses!! jeez guys, figure it out and stop coming to me! i did that thing in high school, but, NEWS FLASH, we're not in high school anymore! sorry, that is my venting moment

Bozo or Boaz?

i went to my church small group and it was Mikaela's turn to share from this book, and the book is called "A Man Worth Waiting For" and basically it is saying to wait for your Boaz, who is this amazing guy in the book of Ruth, and basically the story goes: Ruth and Orpah were married to these guys who were sons of this woman named Naomi and her sons were killed somehow so Naomi was going to go back to the town she was from and she told her daughters in law not to come with her because it would be hard for them to make a life in a place that they did not come from and Orpah stayed in Moab but Ruth clung to Naomi basically saying "where you go, i will follow" so Ruth went with Naomi and since they had no way to make a livlihood (sp? if it's wrong, my spell check isn't fixing it) so the only way they could get food would be to glean the fields, which was basically going behind the reapers (the people who were sowing the crops) and gleaning was when you went behind them and picked up whatever was left. well this guy named Boaz, who was indirectly related to Naomi through her husband, who also died, saw Ruth gleaning the fields and asked why she was doing that and she told him about her and her mother-in-law and he basically told her that she should only glean in his fields and told his worker to not bother her and leave a certain amount of everything they sowed for her to glean, and he said that she could drink water that they had drawn when she got thirsty and he let her eat with them near the end of the day and when she went home to Naomi, Naomi asked her how she had come home with so much food and who had put her in their favor so Ruth told Naomi about Boaz and Naomi told her about the relation an eventually Ruth and Boaz got married and yeah that's basically the end of the story of Ruth (it's a short book) (if you want to read the full story read Ruth, yes all of it, it's only 4 chapters)

this book is also about avoiding the "bozos" who she connects to Prince Amnon who is this totally creepy guy who falls into lust with his SISTER, and gets "sick" and calls her to take care of him, basically taking advantage of the fact that she will take care of him and wants to get her alone so he can try and basically rape her and she says that she will not, that it will disgrace her and him and basically that she would marry him, but that she would not do this thing. he would not listen to her and since he was stronger he raped her, but after he hated her with such a strong hatred that it overpowered the "love" he had felt for her in the first place so he tried to send her out but she said that that would disgrace her even more than what he had already done to her but once again he would not listen and had a servent remove her from his chamber and had the door bolted after her. and the other brother eventually avenged the sister by killing Amnon. (if you want to read the full story read 2 Samuel 13)

and when my church small group was discussing these stories and everything i was thinking about how the Bozo or Boaz could relate to my own life and i came up with the guy i have a crush on and how he is Christian and basically everything that the book would call a Boaz, but how do i know if he is MY Boaz? I mean, i don't really know all that much about him. i know we get along pretty well and we both dance and we are both Christian (like hardcore Christian) and we are both really musical (been in music since early elementary school) but i don't know for sure if he'd be my Boaz, and trust me, i don't expect to find my Boaz any time in the immediate future (hey, i'm only 18!) but it just got me thinking, how can i know this about anyone? someone can seem like a Boaz and really be a Bozo. how can anyone really be sure? i know that i'm probably over thinking this entire thing, but that's what i do, i over analyze EVERYTHING.

The Best Day

maybe not, but it's pretty damn close. i don't even know how it is such an amazing day today, since i keep remembering that i have a piano recital thing on tuesday and a paper due for piano due on tuesday. and i have barely started practicing and i haven't started the paper. but today is still an amazing day. i did laundry and talked to one of my best friends and my mom, i'm writing a letter to one of my best friends, i had a very short text conversation with a friend and she still hasn't responded, but w/e. i've spent basically the whole day listening to music and looking at costume patterns with my mom via facebook, she'd send me a link and i'd look at it and decide if it would work or not. we were looking at old fashioned costumes. i'm such a dork, i LOVE old fashioned things. one of my favorite eras of costumes is victorian, they are so elegant and so gorgeous. my mom was also trying to find patterens for stuff for me to wear when i go to lindy stuff, she found some shirts and a pattern for hollywood pants (yes seriously) idk, today was a good day, i'm in a weird/good mood. maybe my mood is a reflection of the weather, maybe i'm excited for dancing tonight. i don't know! but today is still amazing. dancing tonight should be hella fun, as usual, well actually i've had times where i didn't have a good time dancing. i don't even know how it happened, i guess i wasn't in a dancing mood (weird, i know) but i'm really excited to go dancing tonight, i only hope that they play some lindy music, ok i'm gonna be done blathering now, hope you all have a fantastic day!