her heart was left stranded. it was hurt and alone, no one it could turn to, left in turmoil, spiraling into a dark, bottomless abyss.

i'm drowning in a sea of my own sadness, frustration, anger. struggling, gasping for a breath. looking for some release, refuge. "it's all your fault." the doubts scream in my head, "this is all your own doing. what's the matter with you? why can't you just be happy? normal?" i'm so mad! when did my own thoughts decide to turn on me? and why is this MY fault? i scream. my lungs fill with water. i feel arms around my waist, pulling me up and up, toward air, toward refuge from this hell, but it doesn't matter, my lungs burn, and the voices are still screaming in my head. "you're worthless! you'll never be any good at anything. why would someone save you?" i try to shut them up by screaming, "because someone cares! i matter to someone! just SHUT UP!" i'm crying now. someone breathes air into me. i can hear him saying "NO! you are NOT going to die!" i cough and turn over, gasping in air. i can hear him sigh in relief. i look up at my savior, and smile, i haven't seen him in years. Matt. "i thought you had forgotten about me by now." he smiles back and says, "Never."

joy is like being filled to the brim by the ocean. it purs in until you are so full of it that you feel as though you are going to explode.